Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize