Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
