sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
