loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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