Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
