And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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