I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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