1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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