I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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