all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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