If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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