honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
