so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
