I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
