You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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