how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I supernannyed him into submission
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
