Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
