normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
