You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
