i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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