Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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