i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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