Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
