But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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