My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize