That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
