bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize