im having a threesome with these popsicles
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
