Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
