Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
