Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
