I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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