I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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