Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
