We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
