Yo dont text me then not text me
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
