Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
