i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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