Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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