He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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