Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Shame - the story of my life.
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