and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
