would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
