The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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