OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
