so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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