sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
