Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We got so high we made milksteak
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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