I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize