3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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