she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
operation harelip BJ is a go
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
