He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
