Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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