i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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