But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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