Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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