I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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